what clam ? what are you up to

all my life has been a life of aluminum. lots of people have tried to be clever with me

but not now

big fish

1. cross-country road trip. in this the nimbly-thinking protagonist goes everywhere along her crew of miscreants meeting all sorts of teenage vagabonds. they will all end up where they begun. but at least you would meet people. i have heard all sorts of hearsay from people that could constitute as sources. i am always looking for stories of contemporary weirdos and outcasts to plunder.


> ok so last last night was a bit strangE
> i was disembarking from a bus unto this mini station on my way to some houses in the middle of nowhere
> i entered this wooden place in some forested area along with my group including at this point my family
> the entrance was a little narrow but it led to some familiar home ive dreamt before long long ago
> and at the back there was a laundry machine in the wall with a small plastic tab stuck to it
> its very comfy and woody the farther in but i don't seem to go further
> me and my family get back on the bus after some time and we continue driving on curvy wooded roads until we come out onto this plain
> the plains here go one for ages and ages and we arrive at some mysterious complex of houses and towers
> they're like these big brown houses sort of like a really rich white american suburban groups with castle like houses
> some are stretched and some are flat and there's one that is just a tower with the texture of these houses
> we stop under some shade and i say to someone or someone says to me something along the lines of "took us a lot.."
> apparently this place is popular because a music video was filmed here
> anyway the pope is here and i am excited when i spot him
> i get his attention by shouting "papa" and he blesses me. i do the sign of the cross immediately afterwards
> We start going up this stretched up tower which goes abnormally high
> and back down the pope is gone but someone shows me this perplexing video
> the description is pretty gory: a shitty 360p video of nepalese soldiers, first a sideshow that skews towards showing one person in particular
> gore part: then it switches to a video of tjem walking on some platforms in a dark, low ceiling structure. a panel falls away under them and they all fall except one (the nepalese soldier the video slideshow focused on the most earlier).
> he jumps to an adjacent panel instead of falling and lands on a concrete spike. the spike goes through his head and out of his mouth and his body tenses as he slides down the spike. i see plenty of stills of this death and recall how unnaturally wide his jaw was, the strange way his limbs were bent, and the dried blood on the spike.
> there's also more pictures of the other soldiers suffering similar deaths with their arms ripped and their bodies gashed with expressions of pain to a comedic extent. they lay mostly supine these deaths
> i'm weirded out for the most part and the image of the spiked soldier stays in my head for the bus ride back
> i start to think about how exactly those people are when i get home
> i get into the bathroom to watch the video again
> its a very strange unsettling feeling i get from the video
> like a tacky snuff film with no discernible origin or explanation

pet peeves

liberals / unelegant "horror" / cheap gore / things that are not mysterious happening for no reason

surrealism is really difficult to pull off i've learned. the first idea that comes to mind has to be immediately thrown away because the next ones will be better and if you pick the first one you'll always wonder why you didn't pick anything better.


i'm sorry this website was all i could give you. this is all i ever wanted